The Pursuit of Happyness

If I were you...

We say it, but we don't do it. We are always lecturing and advising everyone in every kind of situations of the day-to-day, but after all we don't even do the half of what we preach.

On the other hand, everyone pays attention to your advice and opinions, admitting that you are right most of the times on everything you say, but later nobody does anything slightly similar to what it has been advised. And, why? Because it is more complicated than it looks like.

The complications come in what I call “limit situations”. Nothing to do with the regular situations which we can consider almost a daily routine. In a regular situation, your friend's advice it's known, totally standard model, size 3. In a regular situation; your action is predictable, what it's consider “the usual procedure”; then that advice from your friend was no more than a conversation's protocol. Limit situations, nevertheless, have to do with a drastic change in your life. “I don't feel good with my partner of 5 years anymore”, “I'm not satisfied at work”, “I don't feel happy in this city”, “I don't know If I should cut my hair drastically” (not everything has to be so dramatic).

This kind of situations imply that everything you are gonna do about it, it's gonna represent a before and an after. Any decision it's gonna suppose a bigger change of what you are used to, a way out of the routine. It's gonna mean to be single for a while, a new job search, starting to pack or not having enough hair to wear a ponytail.

People around you would tell you to do that all from the perspective of “If I were you”, but it's not that easy. “If I were you, I would break up now that your relationship didn't go any further”, “If I were you, I would quit my job and go anywhere to look for what it makes me happy”, “If I were you, I wouldn't think it twice and I would do it”. Aaahhh!, how comfortable is to be behind the “If I were you”!

If all the advice seems so awesome to me, why don't I do it? The big general answer: fear. Some people would say “I have no money”, “I'm not so bad”, “I think we can work things out”, “Why if I don't like it later”, etc, etc, etc. But behind all of this reasons, there is just one big reason, fear. If it would be so easy to make transcendental choices that change your whole life, they wouldn't be transcendental choices that change your whole life, it would be, as I said before, a regular situation.

Fear, embarrassment, insecurity, nerves; all baggage that human beings carry around. And what it's worse, it's totally useless. It's a baggage that we are never gonna use. A baggage that we should not check in. Why do I carry in my bag a bottle of water if I know it's gonna be taken from me at the airport control? I have two options, either stay behind with my bottle and keep it or get through the control without it. Nobody says it's easy, but how good do you feel once you stop, drink the whole bottle and throw it away like saying to the guard: ha! Fuck you, I drunk it!

It's clearer to me everyday that life is meant to be enjoyed to the maximum and it's not long enough to waste your time in a job that makes you miserable or in a relationship that doesn't go anywhere. Cut your hair, backpacking, tell to your brother-in-law there is nobody who can stand him, forget the “If-I-were-yous” and be you! Leave the bottle behind.

Although, no matter what happens, I can't help wondering: why on earth did I cut my fringe?

Spanish Post